The Journey

 Feb/12 - i wrote this shortly after getting my black belt and was afraid that i was talking about it too much so i didn't publish it. today, it seems like the right time to do it.
A funny thing happened on my way to getting my black belt, I was so busy with the journey, I nearly forgot what I was going for. It may sound a little hard to believe but it is indeed true. Someone really smart always used to tell me that it is about the journey and once I completely understood that, then I would be ready. Of course, at the time I nodded my head and thought, no I WANT my black belt! I continued to train and believe in my really smart mentor and I began to notice that I really enjoyed training and I could see all kinds of changes happening. My thoughts were changing, my approach was changing and my skill level was improving. Once I immersed myself in that process, the end goal seemed less and less important.
So a couple of things have happened this week that brought me to this reflection. I opened my bag to ensure that I had everything that I needed for class and was surprised to see my black belt laying there, it was only a second but it was noticeable to me. Then I was thinking about extra training at the kwoon and my thought process was, first of all we will need a black belt, followed quickly by Oh Yeah, that's me. Then I was with a group of people about to embark on a training session, when I suddenly realized that I was the black belt in charge. All of these little instants have led me to the realization that I continue to be focused on my journey and I am no where near the end goal.
I think that I major part of my change in focus has been being a student member of the UBBT for the last couple of years and now the I Ho Chuan team. I just continued on with my training, I tallied my numbers on Dec.31 and began again on Jan.01. I think that I am now hard wired to set goals and work towards them every day. When I run into obstacles, I just figure away around them and keep going. Years ago, I remember all of the ' I can't ' statements that used to run through my head each day and now I look for solutions first.

Mar/12 - then i wrote this and again questioned whether or not i should share my thoughts and feelings, today i want to remind myself that i am on the right track
I often wondered what it would feel like to be a black belt and I had a difficult time imagining it. Now that I am here, I know that it feels exactly as it should, Fantastic! I feel like I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing, all the time, every day. Whether I am at the school, the track or at work, I am doing what I am meant to do and it feels pretty good.
I could describe all the incredible things that have been happening but that doesn't quite feel right. So I will leave it at this, if you work really hard to accomplish something, you will reap the rewards! It is totally worth it; the hard work, the self doubt, the struggles it takes to complete requirements everyday, all of it! And it makes you want to continue to work hard so that you continue to reap the rewards from it. It is pretty cool!

I often write my thoughts and feelings down on my blog shortly after they happen so that I can keep track of what was happening for me. Today I went back and reviewed all the drafts that I had and relived one of the best parts of my journey so far. On Jan.31/12, I made a list of all the cool things about the weekend (on the top of the list was the irresistible urge to smile non-stop) I didn't publish it and I probably won't but having it and re-reading it brought back all those wonderful feelings and thoughts. I was a non-believer when I started blogging, but now I can't imagine not thinking out loud (on my blog).
ps
I still can't stop smiling!!!!
:)