What is a Black Belt?

A Black Belt is someone that I look up to, someone who has set high personal goals and worked hard to attain them. A black belt is a role model, they must act as if their every action is being scrutinized. They must be a positive participant in their community, be it raising money for charity or volunteering. A black belt is strong, mentally and physically. They are good teachers, they can transfer their passoin for Kung Fu to their students. Black belts are friendly and approachable. They are encouraging and good leaders, they are also very good listeners. They make time for their students and are empathetic to their challenges. They are understanding as well because they remember what it was like to learn something new.

I have some obstacles to overcome. I am easily discouraged when obstacles seem too big, this is temporary. Once I have re-assessed and figured out a new way then I try again. I am a procrastinator, especially if I am unsure of myself or my abilities. I will leave tasks or assignments to the last possible minute. Ironically, I know that if I started earlier, then I would have a better outcome. This does not always change the behavior. I also lack self confidence; I use self talk and try to keep my thoughts positive but I don't always believe in myself. This is one of those deep down, not really sure how to make a permanent change, kind of things. When I meet new people, they often say that I appear very confident. I think that I over-compensate, sometimes, I can fool myself.

I like helping others. I enjoy teaching, giving advice and guidance. If I don't know the answer to a question then I will figure out where to get the answer. I try to understand other people's obstacles by relating them to my own. I am a very hard worker and I am determined to achieve my goals. When one of my strategies is not working then I re-assess and try again. I am loyal and honest. I try to be supportive to everyone in my world; my family, my friends. my co-workers and my Kung Fu family. I am kind to people that I meet on the street and I am kind to my environment. I like helping people when they are struggling with their grocery cart or dropping their stuff as they go to their car. I also like to help look after our world, I pick up garbage where ever I see it and don't ever litter myself. I think if we all do a little it will add up to a lot. I try to never be too busy to continue these habits.

Proud Kung-Fu Mom

So here's a super cool thing that happened. One day, I was too busy to do my push ups, so the next day, I did 300 to catch up. I have been doing my push ups at home mostly with my family as an audience and a constant source of encouragement. To say the least, they were very proud of the 300 push up day. Then a couple of days later, after I had finished my push ups for the day, Katie says 'Hey mom, look what I can do!' and proceeds to do 15 push ups without stopping. I give her tons of praise as she only used to be able to do 10 in a row. Then she proceeds to (15 at a time) do 150 push ups just like mom! Oh what a feeling. The greatest form of flattery is when someone copies what you are doing.


I have always tried to be a role model to her and have always shared my beliefs with her. One of the things that I believe is important is the ability to set goals, figure out how you are going to attain them and make a plan to work towards them. I have demonstrated this to Katie throughout her life in my work and in my leisure activities. It sure is cool when it works.

Success or Failure

I think that some people get stumped when facing the possibility of failure. It paralyzes them and prevents them from moving forward and accomplishing their goals and dreams. This is definitely an obstacle that needs to be hurdled. Sometimes just recognizing that that is what you are doing is enough to change the behavior and other times you need to dig down deep and find the courage to overcome your fears. I also think that some people get just as paralyzed by the fear of success. This may sound kinda weird but think about it, success has a lot of responsibilities. There are more expectations placed on you by yourself and others. The drive to keep succeeding is also there, if you can do this then you can do more.

I think that both of these obstacles are part of the inner demon that everyone has to face. You know, that little voice in your head that you need to pacify before you can move on? We all have it. I use self talk to deal with mine. Not just a morning chat in the mirror, some days constant, encouraging dialogs in order to get the job done. I also wonder how much these fears work on our subconscious and how much that can change or effect our behavior. Let me explain. If the fear of success is deep rooted and you are doing everything that you can to overcome the fear, is there a possibility that you can sabotage your success subconsciously? And does that mean that you have to dig deeper to figure out the root of the problem?

I don't know the answer to these questions but putting them out there gives me more food for thought. I suspect that sometimes I am afraid of success, and if I accomplish something then I won't measure up. So is this just a fancy way of saying that I am, in the long run, afraid of failure? Whenever a set a goal for myself, it does not become real until I tell people what it is. Once I have done that, I begin to doubt, not my ability to accomplish the goal, but my ability to be a successful person. I have an example that takes a bit of explaining but I will try. I am a Child and Youth Care Counsellor and I belong to an association that certifies worker indicating that they are qualified to do the job. In order to get certified you must write a lengthy exam (three hours) and then if you pass, you have an oral exam (which is much of the same type of questions but just nerve racking as it is in front of a panel of your peers). The material covered is vast as it involves theories on child development, signs and symptoms of different types of abuse, family therapy, and treatment of all of these things. It takes time to prepare for this exam and while I was preparing I was quite confident that I was taking all the necessary steps in order to successfully pass the exam but something was niggling in the back of my mind the whole time, 'What if I pass?' I was not worried at all that I might fail but I was petrified beyond belief that I might pass. I did not give the notion much time or thought and it did not grow past the niggling feeling but it was real. I think that if I would have given the notion more air time, it could have been a bigger obstacle. Well, I did pass and I lived and now I teach others how to pass the exam and overcome their fears. Each time I set a goal, long or short term, there is that niggling feeling, 'What if I succeed?'

Starting Point

I think that I want to write about my journey, but I am not exactly sure what that is going to look like. Kung Fu has changed my life so much, that I don't know where to begin to talk about it. I guess I can start at the beginning. In 2003, I attended my first Chinese New Year and Black Belt Ceremony and I was blown away by the stories that I heard. I was so moved by the one journey that I heard that I leaned over and whispered to my husband, one day, I would like to do something like that. At first, it didn't seem possible and there seemed to be many obstacles in my way and it seemed like one of those dreams that you take out every once in while and sigh about. One day, I learned that there was a way around some of the obstacles and there were people willing to help me over the others. When I look back over the past five years, some of the obstacles that seemed so challenging at the time, now appear to have been easy. I just needed to push myself. For example, getting up at 7:00 am for the morning class after working until 11:00 pm the night before. At times it seemed impossible, now it is just part of what I do because I love Kung Fu.
I am sure that I have many more obstacles to face but I am confident that I can find a way around them and that I have the supports in place to help me.