I have been dissatisfied with my weight for a very long time..... I have been thinking about this lately, since the challenge came out on kwoon talk, and I think that I may have myself figured out.
I am a very healthy person. I have very few health problems and the ones that I have are manageable. I am a very active person, my body allows me to do the many things that I enjoy. I can do Kung Fu for hours, I can run a half marathon, I can bike, roller blade, swim, and power walk without any physical consequences. I eat a healthy diet that focuses on fresh fruits and veggies with healthy carbs and protein for energy and muscle building. I sometimes wonder why I am not satisfied?
No one I know identifies with me based on my weight. Friends, family and colleagues comment on my dedication, commitment, leadership skills, and positive impact on my community. People who care about me say, 'Hey, you're amazing, sometimes I wish I had your dedication.' So why do I focus/obsess on how I look? No one else seems to care. My most recent A-ha moment is.... It only matters WHO I am. The size I am is the size I am, accept it. I am going to continue to focus on my life goals and my black belt goals. One of them is to learn, read and research about diet and nutrition. I have read quite a bit in the past 7 months and have learned a lot about how to fuel my body to meet the training demands that I place on it. I am shifting gears slightly and I am beginning to focus on how to fuel my body before, after and during a physically taxing day such as a half-marathon, a tournament and black belt grading. I am no longer thinking about losing weight, I am focusing on eating healthy, getting stronger, and improving my personal fitness.
I believe that I can stop obsessing by focusing on the important things(to me right now). What really matters is who I am, and part of who I am is someone who is able to push themselves to the limit and sometimes even beyond. I am again learning what is important and what is really a minor issue. I really do like the continued growth, so if you are facing a problem hang in there, keep trying, aim high, try to focus on what is important, what is the goal, what fuels your passion, what can you learn, how can you help, how can you grow away from your problem so it is very small.
