New Year...

I greet the new year with excitement, wonder, anxiety and some fear.

I am very excited about my journey. Each time I set a goal or encounter a set back, the journey is not what I think it will be and the lesson learned is not what I imagined. I have many goals to reach this year and I am excited about how I am going to reach them.

The wonder that I have about the coming year involves our acts of kindness, our projects, and our community involvement. What will they look like after one year of concentrated involvement by so many people? I will enjoy watching them grow and reflecting on them at this time next year.

My anxiety and fear revolve around my goals and whether or not I can achieve them. Have I taken on too much? Are my goals reachable? Some of the things I have set our to do, I have never done before, so there is some fear of the unknown. I have been working on my goals since Aug.01/08 and I am at the point where doubt starts to creep in. I am countering that by trying new training techniques and by focusing on one day at a time. For example, I started running again last week and instead of being worried about the 1/2 marathon in Sept/09, I am focusing on doing a little bit more each week. I am using HIIT to get me back in the swing. I have never tried it before and I am enjoying the energy bursts that I get afterwards.

It is going to be a great year and I plan to face it straight on with my head held high and my eyes wide open.

Wellness - Dec.05/08

The catch word in offices across the country...wellness. How do we improve the wellness of the people that we work with? My manager has been talking about this for the past two years, casually. He has added it to a list of goals for the year, sort of at the end and not very enthusiastically. At first, I wasn't really paying attention to what he wanted, I was doing my own thing. I was taking care of the needs of the people on my team and in my unit. I was actively listening to them and trying to meet their needs, in hopes that they felt cared for. I was teaching, in my suicide prevention workshop, that it is important that we take care of each other, as no one else really understands what it is like to deal with suicide attempts as much as we do. I had no idea that I was helping the centre reach it's goal by exploring ways to promote wellness.
I recently joined a wellness committee and much to my surprise, I was surrounded by a dozen people who had the same goal as I do. Improve the wellness of the people around us. It was a very exciting first meeting, we talked about how to stop the negativity and discourage mediocrity. We talked about how to talk to people, in the moment, when faced with negative comments or a lack of drive to do a good job.
We planned a Christmas party of the staff and their families. We always focus on how to make Christmas a good time for our clients and their families, we seldom focus on the care givers ( that's us).
Everyone at the meeting was enthusiastic and eager to start the new year with positive acts towards others and a strive towards mastery. I believe that I am in the right place.
As this is an old journal entry, I can add to it. We did manage to throw a Christmas party for our workmates and their families. It was surprisingly easy with about six people chipping in some of their spare time. The results were amazing. I have never received so many positive comments about an event before. People were amazed that we threw a party just for them, no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive, just a party. They were also really excited about what they could do to improve the wellness of the people that we work with. This feels just like the acts of kindness project that I am working on. I am telling people about my goals to partake in acts of kindness and they want to do it too. In that same vein, I am telling people about improving the wellness of others and they want in. I see great things happening in the new year with the promotion of positive thinking in my work place and at home.

Goodbye Sara

This is Sara.
She died yesterday because her heart failed. She had a huge heart and was always giving little tiny kisses to make sure that everyone was okay. She liked to pretend that she was ferocious and had the meanest growl that I have ever heard, but she was the most gentle dog that I have ever played with. She liked to play "sock" and would run around the house with an old sock in her mouth and all I had to do was say,'give me that sock', every couple of minutes and she was content to run around the house. She was easy to love and gave us two big beautiful boys that she bossed around right up until the last day. She was not sick for long, just two days of not being herself. I won't pretend to understand why I had to lose her but I do understand that it hurts and I miss her. I find it hard to believe that the world is going on as usual when mine has come crashing to a halt. I will miss her for a long time, even if she was a bed hog and didn't give me a moments peace when it was time for her dinner or her walk. Last night I woke up several times wondering why I had so much room, she liked to lean on me in her sleep. As one can imagine, I usually ended up on the other side of the bed. My house seems empty without her, she was always looking for mischief and usually had help from the boys in finding it.
She was a good dog, now I have to go about the business of being as good a person as she thought I was.
Goodbye Sara.

BE THE ONE

One seed to start a garden,

One smile can lift a spirit,

One candle can light a room,

One conversation can start a friendship,

One person can make all the difference.

I have no idea what to write this week, I am all over the place with respect to my goals. Some are going really well and seem to be getting easier and others continue to be a struggle.
I did the math for my 100 day challenge the other day and realized that although I have been sick and injured, I can still reach my push up goal and if I push hard I can reach my sit up goal. The kick goal and the forms did not fair as well in the numbers due to injury and frustration. I am hoping to meet at least half of my numbers goal for these two.
I am not journaling as much as I would like, I don't seem to have enough time in the day. I am thinking about journaling often but it is just not happening lately.
I am following the Body for Life program and I am really enjoying it. I am enjoying seeing the muscles build and I feel really good on the food plan. There is something about eating six times a day that just speaks to my soul. I have completed two weeks and I feel really confident that I can continue to follow this program for a long time. Of course, this is part of why I don't have as much time for all my goals. Instead of running, I am swimming for my cardio workouts, and that takes a bit more time than strapping on my runners. I am thoroughly enjoying it and have mastered moving meditation without banging my head on the edge of the pool.
I am reading about peace in times of war and have discovered that this cute little book fits in my purse. So now I can easily take it where ever I go.
I love that I was given the opportunity to create my own goals. It has given me ownership and a drive that I didn't know that I possessed. I am working on my goals every minute of every day and I think that was part of the purpose of this exercise. I feel like I am improving my whole self to be a great martial artist.