Patient and Tolerance

I had a fantastic week!
Here is how it went......I expressed confidence and planning on Monday and received many positives in return.
I spent some time with my mom and I had a good time and she had a great time. She had company and someone to drive her around to get some things done and I got to look at the world through her eyes for a day and I learned that we each have our challenges and obstacles, it's what we do with them that makes the difference. Hmmmmm
I went back to work on Tuesday and hung on to my attitude and perspective, we are all a little different but mostly the same..... we have stuff that gets in our way, etc...
And so my week continued as I looked through the eyes of my team mates, acquaintances, friends and family I learned tolerance and patience at a whole new level.
I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me, I am not saying that I wasn't patient or tolerant before I am saying that I have evolved to the next level. I get people at a place that I didn't before, I used to wonder what other people's issue were, now I'm thinking....we are mostly the same.....it's how we navigate that is the difference!
This allowed me to relax a little and it felt like I was being myself more and I seemed to understand the people that I encountered easier. Hmmmm
I had a great workout week as well, and I wrote it all down!!! I feel stronger each day that I work out and I look forward to continuing on this journey.

Sheep Year

I am looking forward to the Year of the Sheep. I have set some goals and I hope to use all that I have learned being on the I Ho Chuan teams to stay focused, keep myself accountable and not allow myself to quit.
I am going to log my accomplishments everyday
I am going to continue to blog each week
I am going to go to my  classes when I am not working
I am going to to continue to train for and complete my first triathalon
I am going to continue to grow in my Tai Chi daily
I am going to pick up my chucks again ( I missed them) and learn a new form or create a new one
I am going to work on all my hands forms in a rotational bases with the intention/goal of improving my 6 harmonies
I would like to have more lessons in the lion because I really enjoyed the time I spent in it.

So that is mostly it, I have some personal goals that I will keep to myself.

I know that I don't stand alone, even though I am not on the team. I know that I will have the support of my whole kung fu family as I strive to improve myself and my kung fu.

I really enjoyed the banquet last night, I love when we all get together and share some laughs and a few stories! I am inspired by all the hard work that went into making last night a success, not just the demonstrations but all the organizing and getting things gathered that it took. I love seeing the kids perform, the lion dancing and all my friends enjoying themselves with their friends and family.

obstacles and misconceptions

This year was definitely a year of obstacles, I spent more time than I would like to admit thinking about quitting. Not because I don't like being there, not because I don't enjoy all the people that have become a part of my life but because it was hard! It is as simple and as complicated as that. Sometimes it is hard to get to class because of other commitments and sometimes it is hard to go to class because I haven't been there. Sometimes it is hard to get my requirements done because of my life, sometimes it is hard to get them done because I haven't been doing them.
So this year was hard! I think that it was supposed to be.
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure things out, what do I want, how do I get it, stuff like that. I have come to only one conclusion - it is best to keep quiet and see what happens sometimes than to act or speak too soon. I have only recently come to this and sometimes I still forget to keep my mouth shut.

So some of the misconceptions of the year look like this:
I thought it would be cool to blog every day - wrong! I ended up blogging a whole bunch of googley-goop, instead of the real important stuff.
I thought I would do my hand form one thousand times and have this great enlightening - wrong! I got super frustrated, not really sure that I like the form anymore and discovered that I have a tonne to work on.
I thought that I would get tired of doing tai chi everyday, totally didn't happen, in fact, if I miss a day, I may get a little cranky!!
Life pulled me away from the kwoon for a bit, I figured it would be okay - wrong! I missed everyone and everything and when I went back I cried cause so much had happened without me!
I thought that achieving something was more important that improving - wrong again! I seem to keep re-learning this lesson or it doesn't stick or something, I know that I need to feel like I am getting better for anything to matter. I seem to keep getting caught up on the goal and forgetting the most important part, the journey!!!!
So that is it horse team, I have learned that I must follow only one schedule - my own. I have learned that I don't always have to share my opinion, I can be quiet. I have learned that I will get there, when I am supposed to be there and not a moment sooner :)

Wait......I'm not ready!

Some of you may have noticed that when training with me, I will often say, oops! I wasn't ready :), or wait for me. I always kinda feel like I'm not quite at the same starting line as the rest of the group (any group). This is not a bad thing, I just dance to the beat of my own drummer - not always the best thing when lion dancing by the way! I think that I get ready for things in my own good time ( I think that is what my mom always says, "Robyn will do it in her own good time").
When I was a colored belt, this was a bit of an obstacle for me,(you know that stage when you are always looking at your neighbor to see what they are doing?) I felt like I took longer, needed more time, and wasn't ready. Now that I am a black belt, I can take my time, learn the skills that I need to when I am ready to and not compare myself to the rest of the group.
 I have been working hard at mastery for many years and I will continue to do so. This will look like me coming in early to get a bit of extra practice in, meeting with my wonderful friends when there are no classes to give each other feedback and share a story or two and going to the tri-leisure centre and pounding out some reps in order to figure out how to move my body with intent and purpose.
So I may not be ready right now but I will get there in my own time....just ask my mom :)
One of the most importance lessons that I have learned at kung fu is that it is my journey and mine alone, just as it is your journey and yours alone. When you are ready the next thing will be there waiting for you, this year or next year or the one after....you'll see.

It's where I belong.....

I have spent more time at the kwoon this week than has been my norm and I liked it. I have had the privilege of being around the people that I revere so much and guess what? They are just like the rest of us, doing the best they can with the tools they have, putting one foot in front of the other, etc. They have goals and they work hard to achieve them, they mess up and wish they would have done things differently and they have successes that they are proud of....just like the rest of us.....well, me actually. I spend a great deal of my time wishing I was just like them and then I have a little wake up call (thank you my friend) like I did this week, and I realize that I am exactly like them. That is why we get along so well and hang out so much, 'cause we all love that push to do better, that feeling that you get when you finally figure something out after so much trying and being together when it happens!
Thank you team, for helping keep my glasses clean, allowing the opportunity to run with the lions and accepting me. I appreciate that no matter what you are there :)
I know that I sometimes forget some of these things when I am away from the kwoon, thanks for the reminder.

Today I learned......

Today I learned to be quiet and speak about one really important thing instead of commenting or sharing my opinion about everything. I have learned this lesson before many many times but today for some reason, it really struck me how important it is to chose wisely if I want to share my knowledge with people. A long time ago when I was new at my job, I had a mentor that amazed me in his ability to stay quiet and not correct or comment on everything. I always wondered how can he not say something to add to or correct this very important moment? Today, I get it. Some of the things that the new people are so passionately discussing are the same things that I so passionately discussed when I was new. That is how he chose, he learned from many discussion and years what is important and what is something that everyone is discussing and that is okay. I think that I may be getting closer to being like that, kinda cool.
I think that it is a similar journey in my kung fu, when I was a new black belt, I was driven to share all that I learned with everyone. Mostly to spare them the pain and agony that I experienced on my journey but what I am learning is that everyone has to have their own journey and their own pain and agony, so they can learn their own lessons. I am finally understanding how my mentor can be quiet at times and redirecting at other times. He has learned the difference between lessons that I need to learn on my own and the ones that I need guidance with.
Pretty cool day, ended with an opportunity to train with some amazing peers :)

More radom thoughts than I originally intended

I have read some amazing blogs in the last couple of weeks, my teammates displaying insight, growth and progress. I feel like I don't have anything to contribute.
Each day I have to fight the fight to stay focused, stay on track and practice mindfully. I am not proud of this struggle, I am somewhat embarrassed.....I figured after all this trying really hard, I wouldn't have to try so hard everyday. I was wrong. I know that we all struggle in our own way, with different things (physical, mental and spiritual), and that I shouldn't be embarrassed about struggling with the same thing everyday for so long but I am.
I haven't been blogging because I feel like I don't have anything different to say.....today was hard but I got some stuff done! Tomorrow is a new day!!!!
I am trying really hard to stay positive and not give up, it is one of the hardest fights that I have had so far.
I did a lot of growing today, I am a better person than I was this morning - that is something.
Oh yeah, and I figured something out today! I am not embarrassed to bust out a form or some push ups but I am extremely shy about acts of kindness. That's my contribution to our conversation from Sat.

Positive in....positive out !

I have been doing a lot of practice with my friends over the past ten days and it has definitely had a positive effect on my training and on my outlook in general. I spend too much of my training time by myself and it is a treat that I get to hang with my friends and team mates. I loved being at open training on Saturday, there was so much positive energy in the room, it almost made you work harder and concentrate more.
Life has thrown me a couple of curve balls lately and I think that I am managing better than I could be because of the time I have spent training with my friends and re-introducing daily tai chi to my life. I have also shared many laughs with people at dinner, brunch and tea and that has also helped me to stay positive.

ps
I had a really good idea of what I was going to say earlier today but was not near my computer, now it is not really coming to me, sorry for not flowing blog :{

sometimes....

Sometimes life is hard.....good thing tomorrow is a new day :)

did you know????

This week is mental health awareness week!
We are all affected by mental health issues, even if we are not aware of it. Some have a friend or family member that struggles with every day living, some know folks that struggle during different seasons and some are affected by the people that they meet in their lives. I am not just talking about the obvious ones that you see and hear when you meet someone, I am talking about the ones that are silent. When someone suffers from depression or anxiety, you can't always tell by looking. They usual suffer in silent or share their struggles with those closest to them and appear well put together and confident when dealing with the rest of the world. They become experts at presenting themselves as cool and confident. I have met many people that society would label as "normal" that struggle everyday based on the chemicals in their brains.
We always talk about spreading awareness, being more accepting and not judging and I think that what we need to do is stop stereotyping and assuming that someone is a certain way based on what they look like and what they do. If we could possibly treat each person that we encounter in our everyday lives with dignity and respect that we would be a lot closer to that acceptance thing. We don't know by looking what a person is experiencing or dealing with, let's stop pretending that we do!

Another one

My day started out magnificently, some puppy love as always and some tai chi with my friend. The remainder of the challenged me to remain calm and deal with things as they came along. I am so glad that I started my day with a solid foundation so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed with the challenges. It was a friendly reminder to get up and do your stuff cause you never know what the day will bring.

journalling

Doing it right now while I think of it and our meeting today! It was great to meet all the people that will be on next year's team, you all are in for an experience of a life time. Being part of the team has changed how I live my life, from fitness to hobbies to work, I take on everything in a manner that insures success.

Running and Friends

A couple of weeks ago, I had an opportunity to go for a run with a really good friend of mine. We have trained together before so it was a lot like putting on your favorite sweatshirt that makes you feel warm and cozy. We accept each other for where we are at, push each other when needed and take a little break when we have to. I wish everyone could have a training partner like that, someone that ever, ever judges you, just gives you a little push when you need it and celebrates the victories with you and picks you up when you fall down. I carried that warm in me for a week afterwards, thank you partner :)
So my team, if you ever want to go bike riding or running (inside of course) and would like someone to just be with you, I'm your man (well not literally but it seemed weird to say woman!). I also go swimming but that is less likely to be something that you can do with a partner. I go to the TriLeisure most mornings, sometimes at five or six and sometimes a bit later like seven or eight (if I am not on day shift) and I invite all of you to speak up and say Hey, can I come? It doesn't matter what your fitness level or skills are, I don't care, if you only have 1/2 an hour that's okay too!  Of course, there is always time for a few forms afterwards :)
I am looking forward to hearing from you all :)

Living the Life

I started this knitting project in January to help Katie raise money for a trip to Africa, that trip is a no go but I have continued with the project to raise money for the Silent River Benevolent Foundation. I have been making and selling the same thing for all of this calendar year, dish clothes and oven mitts. I have taken a few side trips to make a baby blanket or two but I have continued on with this project through thick and thin for nearly 11 months now. Last night, it occurred to me that it is very much like the I Ho Chuan, always working towards the end goal with a few side trips here and there. Those side trips may include injuries, lack of motivation, or just lack of participation but they are the same and we always come back to working on the goals again. I have learned much more than I have given myself credit for by being a part of so many I Ho Chuan teams, I am living the life and I wasn't even trying that hard!
So much like the I Ho Chuan year, the end of my project is in sight and I don't intend to ever quit knitting (or kung fu) but I will do something slightly different in the coming year.

Where am I? What am I doing?

Well, I am not at kung fu! I am working out, doing a bit of Tai Chi, trying to spend a bit of time with my friends and working my butt off trying to look after everything in my world. Right now I don't know how to fit everything in, so I am doing the best I can with the tools that I have. I am making sure that I have time for a work out each day and sometimes it includes my forms ( I would be lying if I said that I was practicing daily), I know that I need that in order to survive. It is one of the most important things that I do for myself to stay focused, calm and relaxed. Another thing that I do for myself is hang out at the kwoon with like-minded people, I am not able to do that as much as I want to right now. It will come back, I know it.
In the meantime, my little babies are growing like bad weeds, running into every situation that presents itself and loving everyone in their path. One of them has to go to their new forever home on Tuesday and I am not really looking forward to that but one of them gets to stay with us for an extra two weeks so that is really cool.
I think that I always remember how much work is involved in having a litter of puppies grace my home, and then it happens and I am overwhelmed by the work. I am sure in a few weeks I will forget the work and be ready to take on more puppies next time as I will recall only the kisses and the cuddles :)

Keeping on

 I continue to fight my way back into a routine of sorts. I have a couple of good days and then a couple of not so good. I crave the consistency that I had created and long to have it back. I must remind myself how difficult and challenging it was to set up in the first place, so much so that I started working on it a month before I wanted to start it. So I must be patient with myself and remember that if this was easy, everyone would do it.
I have no idea what to blog about today. Every time that I blog lately, I write this line first and then I continue on and write. I am not sure why it helps but it does. It's like once I get it out of my mind and onto the page, it no longer plagues me and I can move on. The mind is a wonderful place to play. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

First of all, I totally thought that I wrote my blog last night....I had my computer open and everything...I'm not really sure what happened. I had a really weird day, I felt weird and shaky all day long, so much so that I didn't want to drive. So I had to miss my favorite class, one that I haven't been able to go to for what feels like a really long time. I am not sure what causes it or how to make it go away, it usually goes away in a day or two.
Today we celebrated Thanksgiving because of my work schedule. We talked about what we are thankful for and my number one is Jim and Katie. I am also thankful for my amazing work team, my kung fu friends, God, my career, the opportunities that I have had to grow into the person that I am, my amazing pet family, my brother and his wife and my friends. I feel very lucky 99% of the time and that is pretty cool.
ps
Ms. Gibbons I hope that meets your challenge :)

House work and puppies

I had a great day doing my housework thing and re-organizing in order to make room for the puppies. They are getting their legs under them and are just about ready to wreak havoc in my home. We will create an area where they can run around and not get in so much trouble. It will mean that our kitchen table will live in our living room for a little while and it will make doing my form in the living room very entertaining but they will only be here for six more weeks so I think that I will be okay :)
I love that we, the team, are using the google plus more, it is fun to keep in touch with everyone all the time. I like the idea for snow shoveling this year, I think that it will be a lot easier to assign times then match people and their schedules up. I am looking forward to going to class tomorrow and maybe doing a little lion dancing!!!!

Last week

Today

Need sleep

Trying to blog more!!!!
I did not have a great sleep last night and it totally affected my morning routine, making me foggy-headed and forgetful. I am hoping to have a better sleep today and a much better day tomorrow. I know that I sleep better when I work out on a regular basis and when I don't work out, then have a crappy sleep and then don't work out....etc. I had a busy work day and a busy evening so hopefully my sleep will be easy tonight:)

Routine

My blogging goal this year is to blog every day, I have failed to do this! It was the first thing to go when I started to have trouble with my requirements and commitment, hind sight being 20-20. A part of me wants to give up on the blogging all together because I've already failed but I know if I do that then the rest of the requirements will stop as well. So I am going to keep trying and figure out how to get back on the everyday train.
I was so surprised yesterday when I got out my yoga mat and got down to my sit up and kicks how at home that I felt. I expected the movements to feel foreign and awkward but it really felt like coming home. I forget sometimes that I had a routine set since January and that it has been a good chunk of the year that I was doing that everyday and a small chunk of the year that I was lost and not doing my daily routine. In the moment, it feels like the down part was the bigger part, hmmm interesting! It feels so good to have that back, I got up again this morning and pulled out my mat and did my sit ups and kicks and yoga before starting my day (the cat doesn't like this routine, he prefers to eat first and blames the yoga mat!). I don't think that will have a problem sticking with the routine, I like it too much and it feels wrong not to do it. I think this is how you make a lifestyle change that sticks!