Conflicted

So here I sit staring at the blinking cursor again. I am not sure what to write about because I have some conflict going on in my life and I am not sure how to deal with it. This then seeps into everything, creating a feeling of unsureness about everything. It is not catastrophic, just a shadow of doubt. I am not letting it control my world but I can definitely feel the effects of it. My training week was difficult, I seemed to have to really fight to find time to train and then when I got down to it, the energy, focus and intensity was not that great. When everything is going well in my world, I think that I am in control and nothing can stop me now. When I run into little glitches, I think that there is no control and I don't know where to turn to re-establish it. I am only now beginning to realize how black and white I am, in regards to how I react to the world around me. It's like I have two setting good or bad, no in between. So the eternal question is, how to I create internal harmony, regardless of the world around me? I know that I can not create harmony for anyone else. The struggle begins and ends with how do I limit my reaction to what is happening around me. Do I face adversity and gain experience on how to handle it? Do I protect myself from conflict until I feel strong enough to deal with it? How will I get stronger if I don't test and push myself? How do I get stronger if I am constantly testing that strength by welcoming adversity? I don't have any answers, just more questions.
These are the things that have been plaguing my mind for nearly two weeks. I think/hope that if I set aside the dilemma for now, the answers will come to me.