Growth, Change, and Staying the Same

I have been thinking a lot lately about my journey. I have changed a lot in the past year. I think about where I was last year at this time and I can't believe the difference. My attitude towards life, others, training, goals, (I could go on and on) has changed so much that I almost don't recognize the girl from last year.

It is almost time to start recording our push ups and sit ups to hand in for Sept. Last year at this time, I put a lot of pressure on myself to do it right and proper and I thought that at the end of the six months that I would be stronger and more capable. This year, I am stronger and I am looking forward to doing push ups and sit ups every day. I have stopped looking at the end and I am living in the moment. I used to always think, I can't wait , now, I'm just doing it.

I am training each day to improve my kung fu. Some days, I only have time to think about my forms and techniques and some days, I get to do them. I am excited each to day to approach my training with intensity and focus. I feel like a sponge, I seem to be absorbing everything that I am being taught. Sometimes, it may take a few repeats for me to catch on but I am able to learn more than before. I think I opened myself up to learning when I wrote my own black belt goals in Aug. and I have grown in leaps and bounds since then.

All though all people are created equal I am also beginning to realize that I am shorter than a lot of people, but I don't think of myself as a short person. I need to have a better grasp on where I am in the world if I want to be a better martial artist. I have to be able to judge how much taller someone is so that I can respond more effectively. This is especially the case in sparring, if I think that I am the same size as a taller opponent, then I will not be able to judge my distance or their reach. My plan is to look in the mirror when I am paired up with someone of a different size so that I can get a visual and learn from that.

A couple of weeks ago, Master Brinker lead the warm up for our class. He counted off 50 push ups in a row and I just did them. At first, I figured that it was more proof that he is magical and can make anyone do anything. When I asked him about it, I was surprised to find out that I had it in me all along, I just didn't know it. I had been doing 30 push ups in a row and I had figured that that was my limit. I now do 50 push ups in a row and it is not nearly as hard as I thought that it would be, and it doesn't take nearly as long to reach my daily quota.

I think that I used to be afraid of change and I now I embrace it, in fact, I demand it, especially from myself.