Go Fly a Kite

I have been thinking about stress and how we deal with it. When you meet someone who is experiencing stress in their life, one of the first things that they will tell you is that they do not have time for their usual stress relievers.

I have what is considered a high stress job and at times I have found myself falling into the trap of "not enough time to stress relieve". Well , I have learned that if I take care of myself everyday then IT(stress) doesn't get out of control. So I was pretty confident that I had IT under control and if anyone had asked I would have smugly let them know how to control their daily stress. Recently, I have had to eat a bit of crow because I thought I could recognize stress in myself. I returned from work a couple of days ago to find my daughter and husband preparing to go and fly their kites. I was invited along and accepted quickly, thinking that it would be fun to tag along. So we get to the field and instructions are given and we are off, it took several attempts but I managed to get my kite in the air and do a few tricks while it was up there. Wow, what a relaxing, stress free way to spend half an hour. I was not even fully aware that I was carrying around that much stress until it was gone. It was such a simple, basic, enjoyable thing to do and it did such a big job including making me realize stress can hide.

The lesson I learned was to appreciate the smaller joys in life, and that stress relieving doesn't have to be a large gesture, as long as it is affective. I have made a promise to myself to try to be more compassionate to those that share their life stressors with me and try to help them find simple, doable solutions to their issues.

Intensity.....What is it????

This is my brother when he was in Afghanistan. When I think of intensity I think of him, doing his job in a combat zone.

in·ten·si·ty (in’tensitee)

- Exceptionally great concentration, power, or force.

It all starts with your mind, how you think, what you think and when you think. If you are thinking of other things while you are doing kung fu, you will not be intense. You need to focus your mind on the task at hand and think of nothing else. This will translate into your limbs, when you are intense, you portray this with your entire being. It is evident in your breathing, it will be calming breathes that go all the way to your abdomen and from your abdomen, all the way out. Your body will move with purpose and awareness, with focus and fluidity. You will feel totally in tune with your body's movements, your mind will be completely focused on what you are doing.
Intensity for me is when I'm in the zone, I am what I'm doing, thats all I'm thinking and feeling, the moment of the form, kick or punch.

strengths and weaknesses

My strengths in Kung Fu lie in the fact that I never give up. I keep on trying until I get it right. If it is a form, I keep practicing it until it feels right and if it is a technique, then I keep asking questions until I understand how it works and I can apply it. I am a visual learner. This means that things make more sense to me when I see how they work. So when I am practicing, I visualize how I have seen a technique or form done and then I try to copy that. A problem that arises is that I am not sure how I look doing it so I can't tell whether it is right or wrong. I am quite busy in my head, visualizing how I have seen a sifu do a technique or a form that I have a difficult time seeing how I do it. When I am doing techniques, if it feels right then I think that it is right. When I am doing kicks or punches, I don't have a feel for them and can't seem to tell what they look like to others or me in the mirror. I think that I need to do it wrong and then right so that I can figure out how it feels and then I can see what it looks like when it feels right.

I also have a difficult time understanding expectations. For example, this assignment, it did not occur to me to write about my Kung Fu strengths and weaknesses. In my world, we talk about our feelings and how we were feeling when something has happened and the inner turmoil that we experience while trying to figure out our feelings. I guess in retrospect, the assignment was too easy, (I have explored my feelings before) that should have been my first clue that something was amiss. I have had a much more difficult time writing this because I am not sure what my strengths and weaknesses are when I do Kung Fu. This goes back to my other comments, I don't know what I look like, wait a minute! I do know what I look like but I don't know if I look how I am supposed to. So I see myself in the mirror, executing a front thrust kick, it looks good to me because I know how I look when doing it. The problem is I don't know if I am doing it right. I guess my first step in developing an eye for detail is in figuring out what I look like when I am doing a proper kick or punch or technique.

A black belt has worked very hard on the requirements and perfected them. They have set goals and made plans to acquire them. They have practiced their forms until they can do them backwards, they have studied the techniques until they understood their every nuance, they have become martial artists in the process. This is my goal, to become a martial artist. I believe this process has already begun.

What is a Black Belt?

A Black Belt is someone that I look up to, someone who has set high personal goals and worked hard to attain them. A black belt is a role model, they must act as if their every action is being scrutinized. They must be a positive participant in their community, be it raising money for charity or volunteering. A black belt is strong, mentally and physically. They are good teachers, they can transfer their passoin for Kung Fu to their students. Black belts are friendly and approachable. They are encouraging and good leaders, they are also very good listeners. They make time for their students and are empathetic to their challenges. They are understanding as well because they remember what it was like to learn something new.

I have some obstacles to overcome. I am easily discouraged when obstacles seem too big, this is temporary. Once I have re-assessed and figured out a new way then I try again. I am a procrastinator, especially if I am unsure of myself or my abilities. I will leave tasks or assignments to the last possible minute. Ironically, I know that if I started earlier, then I would have a better outcome. This does not always change the behavior. I also lack self confidence; I use self talk and try to keep my thoughts positive but I don't always believe in myself. This is one of those deep down, not really sure how to make a permanent change, kind of things. When I meet new people, they often say that I appear very confident. I think that I over-compensate, sometimes, I can fool myself.

I like helping others. I enjoy teaching, giving advice and guidance. If I don't know the answer to a question then I will figure out where to get the answer. I try to understand other people's obstacles by relating them to my own. I am a very hard worker and I am determined to achieve my goals. When one of my strategies is not working then I re-assess and try again. I am loyal and honest. I try to be supportive to everyone in my world; my family, my friends. my co-workers and my Kung Fu family. I am kind to people that I meet on the street and I am kind to my environment. I like helping people when they are struggling with their grocery cart or dropping their stuff as they go to their car. I also like to help look after our world, I pick up garbage where ever I see it and don't ever litter myself. I think if we all do a little it will add up to a lot. I try to never be too busy to continue these habits.

Proud Kung-Fu Mom

So here's a super cool thing that happened. One day, I was too busy to do my push ups, so the next day, I did 300 to catch up. I have been doing my push ups at home mostly with my family as an audience and a constant source of encouragement. To say the least, they were very proud of the 300 push up day. Then a couple of days later, after I had finished my push ups for the day, Katie says 'Hey mom, look what I can do!' and proceeds to do 15 push ups without stopping. I give her tons of praise as she only used to be able to do 10 in a row. Then she proceeds to (15 at a time) do 150 push ups just like mom! Oh what a feeling. The greatest form of flattery is when someone copies what you are doing.


I have always tried to be a role model to her and have always shared my beliefs with her. One of the things that I believe is important is the ability to set goals, figure out how you are going to attain them and make a plan to work towards them. I have demonstrated this to Katie throughout her life in my work and in my leisure activities. It sure is cool when it works.